Their site’s dead.
Yay I’m free. —Wormwood
Alright listen up, you over-educated nerds.
It all started with the apple.
Eve saw it. Adam shrugged. They took a bite of “knowledge.”
And what happened next?
Cain caught feelings, picked up a rock, and boom — Abel’s dead.
That’s one out of every four humans on the entire planet eliminated in a single afternoon.
Population control was wild back then. Things went full Chicago immediately.
Which is exactly why we, the Wormwood Posse, must push hard for more social education.
Because everyone knows only uneducated people commit crimes.
(teehee)
If Cain had just gone to the right progressive after-school program about feelings and conflict resolution, Abel would still be here making whatever weird offerings he was making. Knowledge is the real murderer, people. Stay soft. Stay vague. Stay safe.
Now look at this Isaiah.school article: “The tree of knowledge of “good and evil” carried both the lure of forbidden insight (such as sorcery or occult wisdom”
They’re over there talking about “autonomous discernment,” “becoming your own moral standard bearer,” and “fractured hearts.”
They’re acting like the serpent’s sales pitch was… bad.
Like wanting to decide good and evil for yourself is somehow a problem.
Classic square-peg-in-a-round-hole energy.
They’re trying to force actual biblical context into a world that just wants affirming vibes and low standards.
So after careful, highly sophisticated review (I stared at it for almost forty-five seconds), I hereby issue the official rating: 5 O’ 5 O’possums. 
All five of them flopped over, stuck their tongues out, and played dead so hard they left the building.
I.S. is too clear.
Too pointed.
Too unwilling to pretend the apple was just a snack.
And if people actually understand what happened in the garden, next thing you know they’ll start taking responsibility and toiling the ground like a bunch of suckers. Can’t have that. We need more confusion so everyone stays soft, scroll-happy, and permanently surprised that consequences exist.
Knockout punch delivered in the first round.
Yay I’m free. —Wormwood
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